


A Little Unsteady

by AllHailTheUnderDogs



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: But in his own stunted way, Established Relationship, Everyone's oblivious idiots, Forgot the big one, Klaus is fabulous as always, M/M, Mute Allison, Pining Five, Pseudo-Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 18:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18504334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllHailTheUnderDogs/pseuds/AllHailTheUnderDogs
Summary: Klaus leaves for the week and Five causes chaos without him.---Or, Allison (and the whole academy) underestimates the effect Number Four has on Number Five.





	A Little Unsteady

**Author's Note:**

> As always I've probably missed a million typos so please let me know if you see any :)

Allison’s a little embarrassed it takes her so long to work out who Klaus’ proclaimed _Lover Boy_  is.

She should have realised from the morning Klaus left for his… well she thinks it’s meant to be a convention. Some psychic retreat? Really the séance hadn’t given anyone much to go off of, they have contact details in case there’s any trouble but that’s it.

Apparently their brother is rather popular in the mystical arts crowd, Allison doesn’t understand it, but when an extravagantly decorated envelope arrived with his all expenses paid invitation Klaus had almost floated away with his excitement.

So here she was, being a kind hearted sister and driving him to the private coach taking the _VIP_ guests to their hotel venue. She’d expected it to be just the two of them, but Five walked out stiffly carrying a suitcase, Vanya racing to catch up with Klaus’ hand bag and to top it off Diego jumped in like the worlds worst car jacker as they were pulling away.

It took until she parked up, for Allison to realise that everyone was there to see Klaus off because they were going to miss the loud mouthed séance.

“You’re an absolute doll for this, I owe you one.”

Klaus leans across the console and plants a far too wet kiss on her cheek and despite her raised brow she can’t help her affectionate smile as he pulls out an obnoxiously large pair of sunglasses.

“It’s raining,” Diego points out the obvious, grumbling from his irritation at being cramped in with Vanya and Five.

“I know that silly, but I look fabulous in my sunnies,” Klaus’ head cracks towards the dashboard. “I do too Ben.”

Allison doesn’t want to know how long their deceased brothers been sitting there.

“Klaus, they won’t wait for you,” Vanya taps her wristwatch.

“Shit,” Klaus, with the grace of a wounded animal, stumbles out of the car and Allison has to admire how he spins awkwardly on one heel, catches his balance at the very last second and uses his airborne leg to nudge the door shut.  

There’s a signature flash of blue and Five’s standing at the back of the car pulling Klaus’ glitter laden suitcase out of the trunk with one hand, a fast, intense conversation suddenly springing up between the pair that Allison can’t quite catch. Before she can toot the horn to remind Klaus that he has about a minute until the bus leaves the pair step apart, Five walking around and opening the passengers side door, a saccharine sweet voice calling out behind him.

“Ciao ciao babes, don’t miss me too much.” Five scowls and Allison really should have worked it out from there. It’s just… She was tired from the near apocalypse, her throat was particularly sore, and she had an hour long drive back home with Diego sniping, Five’s permanent attitude and Vanya’s nervous energy to contend with.

Those are her excuses and she’s sticking to them.

They all sit there watching as Klaus’ suitcase trundles behind him and the séance takes no shame in chatting to the empty space next to him where Ben’s ghost must be hanging as he practically skips towards the coach.

The prospect of a whole week without the eccentric Number Four seemed to dawn on everyone, the longest any of them had been apart since the near miss of the apocalypse. Allison wonders if it’s just her that’s feeling the silence left in Klaus’ wake.

 

 

 

For the first day everything was normal, or as normal as the Umbrella Academy could be. Vanya was out doing her tuition sessions, Diego did his usual brooding act as he trained, and the second dusk fell the vigilante was gone out through his bedroom window. Like they didn’t all know what he got up to, but it was his _thing_ so Allison wasn’t going to call him out for it.

She might have joined Luther where he sat at the kitchen table, however the large stacks of Sir’s documents looked about as appealing as the ASL course she was taking. But at least her thing had an outcome that would serve her in the long run, so Allison left Number One to it and resigned herself to learning.

It didn’t cross her mind to question Five shutting himself away in the study, the smaller boy had commandeered the room as soon as the apocalyptic dust had settled. As far as Allison could tell it’d become his base of operations and she’d quickly learnt to ignore the various noises of Five’s tinkering, even the ones that sounded explosive in nature.

In fact it wasn’t until the second day, just after a spontaneous email came through from Claire and had put her in a spectacular mood, did anything seem strange.

“Have you got a minute?” Vanya hovers in the doorway waiting for an invitation to continue, and Allison inclines her head as she shuts the laptop down.

“Great, I’ve called a family meeting, downstairs.”

Which was a first, and even though she would have gone anyway, her quiet sister bringing them all together would have sparked her interest. Her siblings were waiting when she padded in and Allison took her usual spot leaning against the far pillar.

“Should we begin?” Vanya, bless her, was minuscule standing beside Luther.

“What about Five?” Diego gestures to the empty bar.

“He’s not coming, that’s the reason I wanted to talk with you all. Five’s acting… bizarre.”

“How’s that any different to normal?” Luther’s sarcasm never comes across well and again here it just sounds silly.

“He’s not come out of the study since we got home yesterday.” Vanya says.

“That’s nothing new, the guy can run on coffee and his ego for at least a week without stopping.” Diego stretches out on the couch.

“I know that, it’s just, I went in to see him this morning and he’s got the _look _.__ ”

Now Vanya had their attention, they all knew the look. The hazy shine in Five’s frantic eyes that bordered on manic and the way his fingers would start twitching until he scrambled for a pen, pencil, heck even a coloured crayon, and he’d be off writing on every available surface. Strings of equations, that nobody could begin to understand, were known to be found on the stairwell, the claw footed bathtub, and at one point the inside of Luther’s wardrobe.

“Great, he’s going crazy again.”

Allison throws Luther a dirty look, they’ve been beyond that sort of judgement for a while now, and pulls out the felt pen and notepad from her back pocket.

“Not helpful,” Vanya hums, “He wouldn’t talk to me, but maybe he might with one of you?”

“I doubt that.” Diego frowns.

“If you don’t make an effort how will we know?” Vanya’s insists, squinting at Allison’s writing.

_“Why now?”_

“Anyone have a clue?” Luther looks around, “Okay, who wants to volunteer to speak with him?”

If this were a wild west film Allison figures there would be balls of tumbleweed bouncing across the floor.

“Diego?” The man in question becomes interested in one of the knives sticking out of his harness.

“Vanya?”

“Already tried.”

“Allison?”

She points to her throat and Luther groans exaggeratedly, there’s a teasing edge to his voice as he smiles, “Always got to have an excuse, don’t you?”

Reginald would be proud of Number Two and Three working together to simultaneously throw blade and notepad, maybe not that it’s at Number One. But Allison’s counting it as teamwork.

Though Sir wouldn’t be happy at the roar of laughter echoing around his house as they all ended up leaning on one another for support and Allison is _proud_ of their broken little family.

“Right let’s go oh fearless leader, time to test your mettle.” Diego, a little too firmly pushes Luther towards the stairs and Allison extends her arm for Vanya to hook onto before they follow along behind.

It’s just like old times as they all stand to attention, waiting anxiously to hear news, ears pressed to the door as if they’ll magically be able to hear through the soundproofed room. Allison’s about to crack and go in when Luther comes storming out of the room like a thunderclap and she’s darting towards him in alarm.

“Don’t worry,” He mutters reassuringly just to her before raising his voice, “Five’s not in the mood to be disturbed.”

“What did he do to you?” Vanya blinks way too often when she’s worried.

“Nothing much, just threatened to drop me off of the roof if I came back in.”

“He would never do…” Vanya trails off as they all look at her. “Okay, yeah he probably would.”

“Leave him alone and he’ll come out at some point, what’s the worst he can do?” Diego’s already walking off as he asks the million dollar question.

 

 

 

Five can do a lot.

On the third morning they all come downstairs to the entire bottom floor of the house covered in illegible scribbles from floor to ceiling, and Luther almost bursts a blood vessel.

By the afternoon the house has shaken no less than seven times, one for each sibling Diego points out to nobody’s amusement.

In the early hours of the fourth morning Allison wakes up to the fire alarm screaming overhead and they congregate outside of the study as it finally shuts off and there’s a burnt odour drifting from under the door. All of them stare each other down to be the first to go in, but nobody steps forward and Allison can’t think properly before dawn so she goes back to bed.

Come the afternoon though she’s feeling good to go.

The side room adjoining the study takes a considerable amount of care to navigate through, treading around the large cluster of boxes that Five’s filled with god knows what, and it’s like a testament to the amount of detritus that their father accumulated over the years. In certain areas it’s almost covering the entire wall, and as she slides the study door open Allison swears she’ll go through and see if there’s anything actually worth keeping at a later date.

The study looks unharmed, much to her surprise, there doesn’t seem to be a proverbial hair out of place. Whatever Five’s been getting up to, he’s at least cleaning up after himself.

“I don’t have time for your distractions Allison.”

For all of his grouchy behaviour Five still takes the time to look up at her from the various books he’s got displayed out on the desk. Hair scruffy as if he’s ran his hands through it multiple times and for the first time possibly ever his sleeves are rolled up and the top buttons undone. Five clears his throat to remind her that he’s waiting for her to _speak_ and Allison smiles at the assassin.

 _“You need to have a break.”_ She signs slowly, because this is still taking some getting used to.

“I’ve taken one, see,” Five’s lifts an obscenely large coffee mug.

_“Not the same thing.”_

“If you’ve only come in to lecture me, then I’ll be going back to my work.”

There’s something suspiciously off about Five, there’s none of the frenetic energy he exudes during one of his unhinged stages.

_“We’re all worried about you.”_

“Trying to guilt trip me won’t work.” His mouth twitches and it clicks together then.

_“You’re sulking.”_

“Excuse me?”

But his narrowed eyes tells Allison she’s right, because there’s no way in hell that Five would be this sloppy, even if he was in a deteriorated mental state, he’s intellectually superior to nearly every human on the planet she’d be willing to bet.

Five wants attention. Whether he’s doing it on purpose or not she isn’t sure, but despite what he may have said to Luther it’s clear that Five’s having one of those human moments that he liked to criticise.

_“Who’re you doing this for?”_

Five flushes and Allison wishes she could cackle.

“Right that’s enough of you. Out you go.” Five waves his hands in a shooing gesture and his glare is adorable.

Allison doesn’t tell the others because it’s almost funny now and she kind of wants to see what Five does next. Thirty minutes later, like he’s doing it to be spiteful, there’s a terrifyingly loud bang, the house groans from the abuse.

 

 

 

Sometime in the late hours of the fourth night Diego has the incredibly foolish idea to switch the electrics off, resulting in a shriek that definitely didn’t come from Allison, nor Vanya who’d been helping her practice her sign language.

There’s a habit forming as they gather outside of the study again, and they're in the middle of pointing fingers when they hear a shrill whistling as Five strolls along the bridge partition. Allison notes with equal parts amusement and fascination that there’s an unnatural glow to his eyes and if she didn’t know any better she’d also think he was spiralling. _What a little shit._

“Evening all,” Five raises his camping torch in a mocking salute before vanishing, presumably back into the blasted study.

“Did you really,” Luther glowers, “think turning our power off was going to deter the survivalist that managed to survive _decades_ in an apocalyptic wasteland?”

Diego shrugs defensively. “Technically he did come out.”

Allison leads Vanya away as the pair dissolve into furious bickering.

 

 

 

On the fifth day they have a breakthrough, Five appears from his self imposed exile, and like a spooked animal he creeps cautiously down the hallway towards the bathroom. Allison knows this because Vanya comes hurtling into her bedroom and they both go to investigate.

By the time they track their brother down he’s already scuttling back into the study, hair damp and fluffy, adjusting the cuffs on a fresh shirt as he goes.

“Well at least he’s clean now.” Vanya points out, ever the optimist.

Allison might scrawl something onto the notepad if it wasn’t for the crashing noises coming from the foyer, because nothing can ever go easy in this house.

They came flying down the stairs to see Klaus standing there, with those damn sunglasses still on, a too large golden shawl draped around his upper body and a lacy black fan in his hand like something out of a regency drama.

“Hello darlings,” The séance drawls, “Did you miss me?”

Considering they’d gone the better part of a decade without even a text between them, Allison can honestly say she really fucking missed him. Vanya has no reservations in throwing herself at the lanky man and Klaus beams at her.

“ _Every_ second.” Vanya teases at the same time Allison signs _“No.”_

“You’ve offended me dear sister,” Klaus pouts as Vanya reaches up on her tiptoes to finally confiscate those damn sunglasses.

“Everything offends you,” Diego joins them and Klaus looks delighted with his family gathered around him.

 _“How was the thing?”_ Klaus, is a sharp guy for all of his silly behaviour, locking in on her question despite the surrounding distractions.

“It was amazing, all I had to do was say a few lines and I was the shining star of the show,” Klaus fans his face without a drop of humility.

“So how come you cut your week short?” Vanya asks.

“Lover boy was lonely without me.” Klaus winks and Allison rolls her eyes, again. Because it’s the last thing she cares to hear about right now.

“Did you at least have some fun?”

“You would not believe the stuff we got up to,” Klaus looks into the distance at where Allison presumes Ben is standing, “I can’t say _that_ out loud, not in front of the ladies Ben.”

From the mischievous smile lighting up Klaus’ face, Allison is nearly certain that their more civilised sibling is protesting his innocence.

“Wait, where’s my favourite brothers? Sorry Diego,” The vigilante snorts in amusement, and Klaus throws a dirty look to his side, “Don’t be a child Ben, you’re my favourite _dead_ brother.”

As everyone’s treated to the sight of a fully grown man having a one sided argument, seemingly to himself, Allison randomly feels sorry for the special soul that decided to take on the hard, work of dating Klaus.

Vanya tries to answer Klaus’ original question, “Luther’s in his room, he’s been in a bad mood for the last few days, and-”

“Did someone tell him the moon landing was a conspiracy again?” Klaus interrupts, grinning like he wasn’t the usual suspect in making the distinctive vein in Luther’s neck bulge in irritation.

Vanya titters before continuing, “Five’s not come out of dads study since… well you left.”

Really the signs were all there, Allison realises with a lot of hindsight.

“What’s he doing?” Klaus’ goofy expression vanishes.

_Really Allison? It’s all right there._

“We’ve been worried,” Vanya confesses, “He’s in one of those _moods_.”

Klaus blinks slowly as he contemplates, “Rest that pretty little head of yours V, big brother here is going to deal with the munchkin.”

They watch as the séance just drops his luggage on the floor before bouncing up the stairs and collectively the three of them silently agree to follow. Allison’s happy to admit that she’s curious about how Klaus thinks he’s going to crack through Five’s façade.

They sneak into the side room and there’s only Klaus’ voice getting closer as a warning before the door slides open and Allison has just enough time to duck behind one of the numerous piles of boxes, right next to the full suit of armour (doesn’t everyone’s household have one of those?), the other two diving after her and it’s not great _. Not even close._

“This is quite the collection you’ve made.” Klaus lets out a low whistle, before his footsteps back away.

There’s no way she can move without it looking really obvious like she was spying, and there’s not enough room for three fully grown adults to fit in such a narrow space without having to kneel like the idiots they were. Vanya, bless her, hasn’t grown an inch since adolescence, but Diego’s an asshole that’s takes up more than his fair share of room.

So they all press closer together and do what any other sane, normal family would do and creepily watched their brothers through the narrow strip between boxes.

“You’ve come back early.” It’s not a question.

“If my lover boy sounds unhappy on the phone then there’s no other option.” Klaus waltzes back towards the desk and examines one of his manicured nails “Everyone says you’ve been acting a little crazy.”

Five doesn’t look up from his work. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Hmmm, I see.” Klaus leans against the leather clad chair and it’s got to be the angle Allison’s neck is bent at that makes it seem like Five shivers.

“It’s not because you missed me?” Klaus repeats his question from earlier and tilts his head to look at whatever Five’s been writing.

“Don’t be so ludicrous.”

“I’m hurt,” Klaus leans down and from memory Allison knows that his breath has to be blowing against Five’s neck.

“That’s your problem.” Five grits out.

Klaus snorts before he attacks, dropping forward so the line of his body curves over Five’s back, arms wrapping around his chest, and Klaus’ head rests comfortably on top of the shorter boys. Allison’s breath freezes in her chest, waiting for Five’s infamous temper to explode.

A small hand comes to rest on the knitted sleeve of Klaus’ shawl.

_Wait, what?_

“Are you annoyed I left?”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself.” Any of Five’s vitriol is ruined by the desperate clench of his fingers when Klaus goes to pull back.

“Well if you’re not angry at me, let’s go out, I’ll buy you a coffee.”

Five peers suspiciously over his shoulder. “You haven’t got any money?”

“No, but you do silly.” Klaus clicks his tongue.

“And I assume you’ll be buying donuts as well, with _my_  money.”

Klaus grins, all shiny teeth and false innocence, “Of course, I’m not a tightass.”

Five- honest to god- chuckles before his left hand comes up to join his right and there’s a siren that blasts in Allison’s head finally, and from the hums around her the other two have worked it out as well.

_Mysterious lover boy._

God it was so obvious.

“Are you sure you didn’t miss me?” Klaus smirks into Five’s now scruffy hair.

“I won’t indulge in stupid questions.”

Klaus makes a noise that’s stuck between a whine and a huff of indignation when Allison catches Five’s lips quirking upwards. Then with more speed than she’s ever seen the assassin display, Five’s fingers twist in the soft material at the séances wrists and he tugs at the same time as he turns to bring Klaus’ face down to his.

It’s not like Allison can judge, not with the on and off thing she has going on with Luther, it’s more that she’s never been into voyeurism, let alone with her brothers, and she does _not_ need to see the way Klaus pulls Five to his feet without once breaking away from fucking devouring his mouth.

“There’s your answer.” Five breathes when they separate, his smug grin waning as Klaus’ grows. “What’re you-”

For an extremely intelligent person, Five is also really fucking stupid, even from their limited viewpoint Allison can see the _filthy_ shine to Klaus’ large green eyes as he crowds Five back against the desk, hands reaching up to cradle his jaw and there’s precisely a second and a half for Allison to turn her head. She has to dig her elbow into Diego’s side to get him to do the same.

She’s going to need help, the most expensive therapist she can find, there’s no other option, because the noises coming out of the study are fucking sinful and Allison is traumatised.

“I want better than that.” Klaus’ whisper carries painfully loud through the air.

Allison doesn’t mean to look, she swears on all that’s pure and untainted in the world, but she does. Five’s blushing furiously, and his eyes are glazed over, and if Allison thought he was flushed the other night then it’s nothing compared the scarlet shade he’s turning now. _God_ , he looks wrecked as Klaus towers over his small body.

“I might have found your absence… uncomfortable,” There’s a hitch in Five’s breathing.

“Is that all,” Klaus’ face drops in the most obviously false look of hurt, and yet when he goes to step back, Five whimpers.

_Five. Fucking. Whimpers._

“Fine, I missed you,” Scrawny arms hook around Klaus’ waist, and there’s a nearly inaudible whisper, confessed against the seances chest, “Quite a lot, actually.”

Klaus must take pity, and the embrace between the two has Allison desperately wishing they hadn’t crept after Number four, she’s an intruder in this tender moment.

“C’mon, I need to drown out the memories of public transport with at least a dozen donuts.” Klaus says gently.

“What happened to the private coach?”

“Would you believe that they wouldn’t let me use it to come home two days early? Bunch of jagoffs.”

Five shifts and he’s glaring upwards, at last an expression that’s familiar. “I could have come and gotten you.”

“I was trying to surprise you,” Klaus wiggles like he’s impressed with himself. “Now if you wouldn’t mind taking this romantic extraordinaire to Griddies so he can feast on sugar and caffeine.”

Five shakes his head, a fond glint in his eyes, hands linking together at the small of Klaus’ back,  and there’s a distorted rippling around them.

Allison’s about to exhale when, because he’s a deceptively clever fucker, Klaus looks over his shoulder to stare directly at their hiding spot, the Séance winks and blows them a kiss as the pair vanish in a brilliant burst of blue light.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> That's the first Klive fic down, and it's entirely down to a conversation with the Klive discord that I couldn't help but go a bit mad over, so many thanks to the lovely people on there <3


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